It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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