doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
