Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
