I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
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