you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this just has baby written all over it
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
