How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
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