What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
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