Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
