is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Randomize
