At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
