This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
