Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
