Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
