My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
