the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
