were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
