Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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