So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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