my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
