So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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