At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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