hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
