I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Who wears a wallet chain?!
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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