And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He passed out mid-signature
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
