Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Randomize
