going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
