i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
