you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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