i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
is that a dick in a sweater?
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
