Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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