PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
