I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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