So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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