I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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