i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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