I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
My bed smells like the plague
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
