I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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