he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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