Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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