literally had 100 drinks last night.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize