i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Quick, to the slutcave!
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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