went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
