Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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