this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
mondays should just be called national damage control day
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
