Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
