I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize