Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
