Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I see more hoeing in ur future
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
