I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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