Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
