At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
