Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
