whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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