Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
