Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
