:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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