Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
