Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
