she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
