i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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