am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Dicks are not precious.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
