thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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