so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
