Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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