there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
