I just made out with a guy for $7.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
