I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
