who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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