his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
