Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize