Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
