Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
