i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
