I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
