im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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