I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
