I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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