Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
