he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
