but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
