Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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