I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
