Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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