i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
