We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
