No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
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