Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
